Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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