i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
