Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
