the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
