Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
