hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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