Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
