A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize