why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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