i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You work out of a Hotel?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
