Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
