the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it š
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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