i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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