It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
This house was built for laser tag.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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