you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
