Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
