Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
