So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
