I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Couch. On fire.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
