alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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