who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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