the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
