We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's like heaven, but drunker
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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