pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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