You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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