Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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