just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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