life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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