Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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