You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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