I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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