It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
