Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How naked do you want me to be?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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