She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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