Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
