it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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