The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
