I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I pour the whiskey from now on
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize