Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
