Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
