I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize