Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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