I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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