so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
