HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
