I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize