A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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