Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
