never play flip cup with pint glasses
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is this like a preordered booty call?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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