How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
