I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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