I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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