My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
