So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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