She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
