Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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