why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
