DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
