That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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